Aces Full of Links: Unpack Your Expletives

August 2, 2007

Unpack Your Expletives

Apologies to Schoolhouse Rock’s excellent “Unpack Your Adjectives.”

Warning (Obviously) Language

Unpack Your Expletives

Read the newspaper today.
My spouse could sense my dismay.
I slammed the pages down
I faced her with a frown
My deep frustration I wished to convey.
So I unpacked my expletives.

“President Dumbass” came first.
Then “fucking absolute worst.”
Then I picked “what the fuck?”
Next I picked “lousy schmuck”
Then I was ready to have a good rant,
‘Cause I’d unpacked my expletives.

Expletives are words for your political discourse
To honestly react to the news.
When they’re quoting Bush or Cheney
And your forehead gets all veiny
Expletives can help you to vent.

You can even make expletives out of the other parts of speech like
verbs, nouns and adjectives. All you have to do is tack on a profanity like “damn”
or “fucking” or “ass.” For example: This dummy can grow up to be
a president, but still be an ignorant ass. “Dumb” is
an adjective, but the ending “-ass” makes it an expletive,
“Dumbass,” that describes the President’s approach to life. Get it?

Next time you take in the news,
Don’t drown your sorrows in booze:
Reach deep inside your lungs,
And loosen up your tongue.
And raise your voice to announce how you feel.
Simply unpack your expletives.
You’ll feel better with expletives.
Tell ‘em you’re fed up with expletives.
Don’t let the feds hear your expletives.